January 2012
3 posts
Suspended but hopeful.
If you are even a fraction of how scared I am right now, i am sorry.
I cannot imagine what is going through your head right now. I barely know what is going through mine.
I used to think I knew how to handle these things. Play and replay every instant of every possible scene in your head. Every combination of words, actions, thoughts and reactions had to be played out, carefully rehearsed to...
“When you meet someone
so different from yourself,
in a good way,
you don’t...”
– I Heart You, You Haunt Me by Lisa Schroeder (via lostinthesounds)
The cartographer stole her heart
“As long as she dreams, we will draw our own maps of the world”
That is all the police report said
November 2011
1 post
“We help people when big things happen to them, when you see them getting hit by a car, when a brother or a sister or a father or a mother dies, we’re there for them because we can see that death kills more than the person it takes. And yet, the people around us who die a little all the time, moment by moment, who require the least help, the smallest sacrifice, are the ones we ignore...
September 2011
1 post
1 tag
June 2011
2 posts
May 2011
2 posts
April 2011
7 posts
So here it is:
I haven’t written anything even remotely worth reading in months. I simply can’t find the right combination of words to express all of the emotions that are going on inside me.
it has truly been a full spectrum, and I know some of you will jump at this one, no need to worry, I’ve got it all under control. But the last couple of months have really been a roller coaster ride...
This is the life I wanted.
This is NOT the life I wanted.
This is the name on a business card I dreamt of reading.
This is not who I am.
This is not who I will ever be.
This is not who I want to be.
With every step I take I get one step closer to “the farthest from who I want to be” I’ve ever been.
I don’t know the road back.
Sadness:
An awful, gut wrenching feeling I often get when you are gone and I am working into the late hours of the night.
A melancholy that will not go away and I have no appreciation for.
THIS
March 2011
16 posts
If your presence doesn't have impact, your absence...
I don’t measure success in digits on a paycheck, or in a title on a business card. Both of those can be lost and gained… I admire you for who you are beyond that, for the desire to learn, the drive, the integrity with which you live every day, I admire how you have heart and emotion and a sense for family, how you laugh and how you are not afraid to cry.
Success to me is a balance,...
The stangest void
It had been 3 hours since you boarded the plane when it hit me, and from that point on, I was lost in the strangest void.
It was as close to losing you as I ever want to be. Because for 15 hours, it was as if you were not reachable, just completely gone. It was like no matter how badly I wanted to communicate with you, no matter what happened here on earth, you were completely unreachable.
...
Horizons
Sometimes you make me wonder if horizons are fixed or moving.
Watching them makes the spinning of my head stop, the dizziness wears off and I can see clearly again. All it takes is to walk straight in the direction you once pointed towards. Forget the confusion, the buzzing in my ears and the constant cries of “stop, you can’t do that” and “no, that is impossible”.
...
Wish...
You laugh at me because I wish on shooting stars, and lost pennies, and dandelions. How I make a wish every time I throw a coin in a fountain, every time the clock turns to 7:11 and I catch it, every time I blow out the candles on a cake. You laugh when I beam because I have close to a 30% success rate with my wishes. But agree that 30% of 10 wishes is better than 100% of No wishes. So maybe it is...
Our treasured words
I figure, now that the domain is up, might as well insert a bunch of the old pieces I’ve written
And with those words fell silence. Like the last rays of light, my last word hit your ear, and like the first raindrop hits an empty gutter it resonated in the air for what seemed like an eternity. You just repeated it softly. The gentle sound of your voice for once carrying pain and a note of...
Dearest,
I find myself in the city of mystery and romance, of debauchery and art. I have a few days to explore the magic of this town, and already I understand that I will only find it in the depth of its canals. The surface only holds so much, what is afforded to the naked eye, but my job here is to capture the essence of its history. To truly understand how the refugees in AD 568 decided to stand on this...
Hello my love,
It is early in the morning here in Scotland, I am sitting in an old car on my way to a castle in the highlands. It is foggy and cold. I suppose this is what I always imagined when I used to daydream as a child of coming here. I look out the window and see a boy on a beautiful black horse, he is alone, surveilling the lands, as if he owned them, or was a part of them, and I can’t imagine a...
Japan
Dear F,
I open my eyes into a perfect stillness of pink and white. The smell or blossoms and the brisk winter air hold the promise of a cold night, another one alone, apart from you, the man I love. I have recently found the difference between being alone and being lonely. See being alone is a simple physical state in which physical distance separates you from someone or something, it has no...
Dear You,
The warmth of the morning envelops me and I fall in love with the life I lead. The smell of spices in the air, the silence at dawn in a foreign land, I can almost hear the sountrack I would play if this was the movie of my life. I can see the children running on the unpaved streets, old men walking along the road with their ox, women laughing by the river in an explosion of colour. I feel my hope...
“I am an excitable person who only understands life lyrically, musically, in whom...”
– Anais Nin (via quote-book)
Dear Self,
You’re going to be fine.
Sure you’re a little moody, and a little crazy, and a little unsure of everything you want. (Being honest, who isn’t?) But you’re fine.
The answers will come. You will understand what you’re supposed to be doing. And you’ll figure it out eventually.
You will, and you know it.
In the meantime, keep smiling.
Love, Self
“I have never found beauty in longing for the impossible and never found the...”
February 2011
10 posts
I grew up thinking...
qomaspeakup
If you crossed your fingers, your wishes would come true.
If you held your breath & closed your eyes in a tunnel, your wishes came true.
If you prayed at night, your wishes would come true.
If you threw a coin in a fountain, your wishes would come true.
If you blew on a flower & watched the petals fly, your wishes would come true.
If you blew the candles out on your...
It’s in the way he looks at me, when the world is crumbling around him and he knows that he can hold on and we sill be strong.
It’s in the way he always kisses my forehead when he hugs me and then takes my hand.
It’s in the words he doesn’t say but I know he means, and in the way he supports me through everything.
Who I want to be... for you!
The girl who makes you laugh when you shouldn’t and reminds you of the times you smiled and have forgotten. The one who knows how to cook your favorite foods and picks out the ingredients you don’t like from the food you are served. I want to be the one who knows the roadmap of your dreams and the antidote to all of your tears. The one who can scare away fears and evoke a happy nostalgia when the...
Strive for happiness, ALWAYS
jeremyfall:
Forget the “right thing to do”, forget all complications, rules, social politics, risks, opinions; forget everything that will make you waste another second of bringing you closer to a healthier life. Honestly, if you truly are happy, there’s nothing else in the world that matters. That’s what it all comes down to and it’s as simple as that.
- Jeremy Fall
Certainty
They say the best feeling in the world is saying I love you and hearing it said back… or sleeping after exhaustion, or the first bite when you are starving, or sex, or a kiss…
I’m going to disagree… I learned, very recently, that the best feeling in the world is certainty. Its knowing, for sure, without a shadow of a doubt, no hesitation in view! Maybe you KNOW who HE is,...
January 2011
6 posts
“The way you put your hand in the nook of my back, the way you make me feel like...”
December 2010
11 posts
“It’s the Longing that ultimately undoes you. When it finds you, it gnaws at your...”
– House of Mystery #4 by Matthew Sturges, Luca Rossi and Steve Rolston (via threeseptembersandajanuary)
