The stangest void

It had been 3 hours since you boarded the plane when it hit me, and from that point on, I was lost in the strangest void. 

It was as close to losing you as I ever want to be. Because for 15 hours, it was as if you were not reachable, just completely gone. It was like no matter how badly I wanted to communicate with you, no matter what happened here on earth, you were completely unreachable. 

Don’t get me wrong, sometimes hours will go by without us talking, mostly when one of us is asleep or in a crunch at work… and in a way, I enjoy those moments, the moments when I am allowed to miss you, because you are far away, or you are busy. The moments when I can enjoy the longing, but if ever something happens, you are just a phone call away. 

But this was different. All of a sudden it was as if you were gone, wipped off the face of the earth, and my world began spinning out of control. Where was I to go from here? Like every question I routinely ask myself was unanswerable, and I was paralyzed in a sort of foreign land where I was lost in translation. All of the familiar places seemed unkown, the sounds accentuated by my confusion, the smells overwhelming and odd, and the memories of you distant. 

It was as if life was paused until you were off that plane and I could finally tell you: 

Never leave me my love, I just don’t know how to live without you anymore.